Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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