Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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