Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
