My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
