ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we're so committed to being not committed
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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