About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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