i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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