it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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