You're completely useless in the revolution.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
