What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
my liver is dry heaving
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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