Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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