I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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