You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
And then he peed in my hair
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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