i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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