Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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