he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
