the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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