He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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