If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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