I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
