when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
