Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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