She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
