I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
