He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think my vagina is haunted
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
