Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
there is puke in my bra ... again
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