who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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