last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Quick, to the slutcave!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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