And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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