I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
