Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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