Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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