We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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