I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
