my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
sarcasm needs its own font
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
