yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
