would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You were trust falling into bushes
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
