Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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