You can't special order awesome
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
either way he was missing a nipple.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
