we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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