So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
