So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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