Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I want a musical about memes.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
