you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
