Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
