In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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