I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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