The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
