You're completely useless in the revolution.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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