at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She even gives head with a lisp.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Come on in and take your pants off
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