I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
