okay pat passed out under dana's car
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
