I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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