Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
