He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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