@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
