it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
