You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
