I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize