we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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