we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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