I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
