you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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