saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize