Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
