I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
