Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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